Corporate lessons

[Rob_the_Saint]

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her

shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over

which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,

quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

 

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says "I'll give you 800 dollars to drop

that towel that you have on."

 

 

 

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands

 

naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars

 

and leaves.

 

 

 

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up

in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom,

her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?"

 

 

 

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband

says,

 

"did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?"

 

Moral of the story:

 

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in

time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent

avoidable exposure

 

 

 

 

Corporate Lesson 2

 

 

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he

stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and

crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg.

 

The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

 

The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm

129."

 

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to

remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her

leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg

again.

 

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129."

 

Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is

weak."

 

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful

glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest

rushed to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129.

 

 

 

It said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory."

 

Moral of the story:

 

Always be well informed in your job, or you may miss a great

opportunity.

 

 

Corporate Lesson 3

 

A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking

to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie

comes out in a puff of smoke.

 

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give you

one each."

 

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the

Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

 

Poof! She's gone.

 

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to

be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an

endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life."

 

Poof! He's gone.

 

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

 

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

 

Moral of the story: Always let your boss speak first.