The Mayor Of Simpleton Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 1. Stewart Francis - "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks." 2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. " 3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister." 4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case." 5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know Y." 6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze." 7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating." 8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!" 9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad." 10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn't fancy her chances." Some not-too bad ones, but I think most people on here can do better. Here's a few of my favourites: John Lennon said 'All you need is love' - he's never had to buy an I-Phone each year! I was on a flight to New York, when the stewardess walked through topless handing out free bottles of tequila and bagfuls of cocaine. Well, Virgin want to treat you like a rock star! My mate watches Desperate Housewives a lot - he's a window cleaner! Joey Barton is, apparently, in talks with Rotherham United's Steve Evans about a loan move. He's arrogant, rude, unpopular and ugly - and also the Rotherham boss! A horse walks into a bar, and the bar-man says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I came first in the Olympics and they gave the medal to the t*sser on my back!' So fill your boots chaps, what are your favourite jokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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