The ventriloquist

[Burnham Lad]

A ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on the gate, by his field, patting his dog.

 

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the man "Can I talk to your dog?"

 

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid git."

 

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

 

Dog: "Doin' all right."

 

Villager: (look of extreme shock)

 

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

 

Dog: "Yep"

 

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

 

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

 

Villager: (look of utter disbelief)

 

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

 

Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either.... I think."

 

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

 

Horse: "Cool"

 

Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)

 

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

 

Horse: "Yep"

 

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

 

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

 

Villager: (total look of amazement)

 

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

 

Villager: (in a panic) "The sheep's a f**king liar!"