How True Is This ?

[Big J R]

How true is this !

 

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

 

40-ish................................49

Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.

Athletic..............................No breasts.

Average looking.................Mooooooo.

Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure.............On medication.

Feminist..............................Fat.

Free spirit...........................Junkie.

Friendship first....................Former slut.

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned.....................No Blow Jobs.

Open-minded......................Desperate.

Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional.........................Bitch.

Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.

Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.

Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

 

01. Yes = No

02. No = Yes

03. Maybe = No

04. I am hungry = where's the chocolate ?

05. I am tired = No, I don't want sex !

06. We need = I want

07. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

08. We need to talk = You're in trouble

09. Sure, go ahead = You better not

10. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

11. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron !

12. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is Sex all you ever think about ?

 

MEN'S ENGLISH:

 

 

01. Yes = Yes

02. No = No

03. Maybe = Maybe

04. I am hungry = I am hungry

05. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

06. I am tired = I am tired

07. Nice dress = Nice cleavage !

08. I love you = Let's have Sex now

09. I am bored = Do you want to have Swx ?

10. May I have this dance ? = I'd like to have Sex with you !

11. Can I call you sometime ? = I'd like to have Sex with you.

12. Do you want to go to a movie ? = I'd like to have Sex with you.

13. Can I take you out to dinner ? = I'd like to have Sex with you.

14. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay !

 

<img src="/forum/images/graemlins/chloe.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/bootyshake.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/chloe.gif" alt="" />

[American FLEET FAN No1]

UH OH!!!!!!!I hope she never reads line four JR! <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/wurm.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laughuncontrollable.gif" alt="" />

[Big J R]

As Capt. Mainwairing would say.....

 

"Ar ! I wondered who'd spot that !!!"

[Moo]

Oh, she spotted it days ago, don't have to worry about that. <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />