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Some more 'Scottish' humour !

Big J R

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You need to 'think' with a broad Glasgow accent.


What do you call a dwarf who falls into a cement mixer ?

A wee hard man.


What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe ?

Wee Shooey.


What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe and can't find his dog ?

Wee Shooey Douglas.


A guy walks into a GP's surgery.

'Doctor , Doctor! He cries , 'you've got to help me, I feel like I'm turning into coconut'

Says the doctor, 'You're bountae '


There were three coos in a field. Which wan wis oan its hoalidays ?

The wan wi a wee calf.


The man in the clothes shop insisting on a maroon jacket.

'Fur ma roon shoolders'


Hear about the stupit skindiver ?

He didny have a scuba.


What do you call a Glasgow Sikh who enjoys karaoke ?

Gupty Singh !


A wee woman from Glasgow’s West End was staying in a hotel in Edinburgh. She phoned room service for some pepper. 'Black pepper, or white pepper ?' asked the concierge.


'Toilet pepper !' yelled the woman.



Edited by Big J R
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