Speech Impediment.

[Big J R]

It helps if you can imagine the impediment !

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A man with a speech impediment goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen.

 

The man with the speech problem quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and asks, "Ess-tues me, sir ?"

 

"Yes ?" replies the counter assistant.

 

"Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr ?"

 

"Pistachio's ? They're $9 a pound."

 

"SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing and then asks, "Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons ?"

 

"Almonds ? They're $11.50 a pound."

 

"SSIT! tas pensive," replies the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout your pikanns ?"

 

"Pecans ? They're on sale today, they're only $14.50 a pound."

 

"Welp, Ssit. Just div me a pound of dose dhen."

 

"All right then," says the assistant as he bags up a pound of pecans.

 

Then the man says to the clerk, "Sirr, I just wanna thay tank you fo not making fun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it."

 

The clerk replies with a smile. "Oh Sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of anybody. I don't know if you noticed but I have a rather large nose."

 

The man replies, [color:"red"] "Oh, is dat your noze ? I tought dat wuz your pecker since your nuts are so high !" [color:"black"]