911 dispatcher memories

[Big J R]

[color:"red"] From the United States, obviously !!

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Subject: 911 dispatcher memories.

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency ?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address ?

Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks - why ?

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency ?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me ?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken ?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it !!

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency ?

Caller: Fire, I guess.

Dispatcher: How can I help you sir ?

Caller (After a long pause.....), I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks ?

Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency ?

Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help

me ?

Dispatcher: Help you what ?

Caller: Help me get these chains on my car !

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency ?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an 'eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This IS nine eleven !!

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one ?

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency ?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child ?

Caller: No, you idiot ! This is her husband !!

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And the winner is..........

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out !!

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from ?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone - North and Foster. Damn......

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic ?

Caller: No.

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing ?

Caller: Running from the Police !!