15 Things to Do....................................

[Big J R]

Fifteen things to do at Wal-Mart/Asda while your significant other is taking his/her sweet time:

 

1- Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

 

2- Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

 

3- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

 

4- Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in

housewares', ... and see what happens.

 

5- Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

 

6- Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

7- Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

 

8- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone ?'

 

9- Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

 

10- While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

 

11- Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.

 

12- In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

 

13- Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through say 'PICK ME!! PICK ME !!!!'

 

14- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

 

....and last but not least,

 

15- Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly ..'Hey! We're out of toilet

paper in here!'