Another from the Golf Course !

[Big J R]

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

 

A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.

 

.

MAN: "Hello ?"

 

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club ?"

 

MAN: "Yes."

 

WOMAN: "I am in town right now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £500. Is it OK if I buy it ?"

 

MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."

 

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."

 

MAN: "How much ?"

 

WOMAN: "£45,000 !"

 

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

 

WOMAN: "That's great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000."

 

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but only offer £900,000."

 

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! Love you lots !"

 

MAN: "Bye, I love you too."

 

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in total astonishment.

 

He turns to them and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

 

[TACKLE1000]

Two blokes playing 18 holes.At the 7th green first bloke needs to make a call so he extends his thumb and first finger,taps his palm ten times, and continues to have a conversation with his wife. The call ends and he apologises for the interruption. 2ND golfer looking amazed asks for an explanation.Easy, explains first bloke,It's the latest mobile,the mic is inplanted in your little pinky, the speaker in your thumb and the numbers in your palm. Amazing says 2nd golfer. Two holes later first bloke excuses himself and disappears into the woods.After ten minutes first bloke goes to look for his partner. He eventually finds him trousers down bent double with a toilet roll shoved up his [****!!****].I demand an explanation he shouts. It's not what it seems says first bloke, i'm expecting a FAX!