silly jokes

[zody]

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

One turns to the other and says "dam"

 

A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

 

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't

much but the reception was brilliant.

 

<img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laughuncontrollable.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laughuncontrollable.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laughuncontrollable.gif" alt="" />

[Hookey]

Heard the one about the Agnostic, dyslexic insomniac.

 

Lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog!! <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laughuncontrollable.gif" alt="" />

[Hodgey]

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other....how do you drive this thing!

 

Sorry but if your putting bad jokes on here thought i would too!

[zody]

Great Joke, keep them coming Hodg

[Mr Happy]

Two parrots on a perch. One says to the other "Can you smell fish?".

[Big J R]

Two cannibals eat a clown.

 

One says to the other, [color:"red"] "Does this taste funny to you ??" [color:"black"]

 

<img src="/forum/images/graemlins/wurm.gif" alt="" />

[Gazza]

Two cows in a field, one turns to the other & says "what do you think about this mad cow disease then" the other one replys " oh that dont affect me im a tractor"!!!!!

[MbrunoB]

Two cannibles eating a man and the first one says "are you enjoying it?" and the second one says "I'm having a ball" so the first one say "you're eating too fast!!"

[Gazza]

im in hospital, think ive poisoned myself, i used a daffodil bulb in a cheese sandwich instead of an onion, its ok though the doctor said i should be out in the spring!!!

[zody]

why did the dinosaur cross the road ?

[zody]

cause chickens werent invented <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laughuncontrollable.gif" alt="" />

[Big J R]

What d'yer call a dinosaur with only one eye. [color:"red"]

 

A 'dyerfinkhesaurus'

 

[color:"black"] <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/wurm.gif" alt="" />

[Hookey]

Oooh, that joke's like the dinosaurs, prehistoric. Here's another....

 

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A. No idea (No eyed deer)

 

Q. What do you call a dead deer with no eyes

A. All together now, still no idea.

[zody]

You know you're living in 2005 when...

 

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

 

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

 

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

 

4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.

 

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do

not have e-mail addresses (even then its difficult).

 

6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the

phone in a business manner.

 

7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "0" or

"9" to get an outside line.

 

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three

different companies.

 

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.

 

11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

 

12. Contractors out number permanent staff and are more likely to get

long-service awards.

 

AND THE REAL CLINCHERS ARE...

 

13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.

 

14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your

"friends"

 

15. You are too busy to notice there was no No.9

 

16. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a No.9

 

Thanks for completing the test, WELL <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laughuncontrollable.gif" alt="" />

[Nikki 50/50]

haha, that was good, prob one of ur best postings Zody/.

[zody]

thank you charmer, and there is more, but I wont spoil you tonight with it <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/wiggle.gif" alt="" />

[billy]

very good mate keep it up i think you will have a

1000 post s very soon

[Rinsed]

F**k me did you write for bob monkhouse. Get a life, come ground hopping with me and get loads of freebies.

[zody]

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was

artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!" <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/bootyshake.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laughuncontrollable.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/tongue2.gif" alt="" />

[billy]

to nuns in a bath...one says to the other wears the soap? the other one said yes it does dosnt it