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Open letter to Maladroit!

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14 replies to this topic

#1
offline American FLEET FAN No1

American FLEET FAN No1
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I am very disappointed to see that whilst i was away Big JR ran amok in several Forums. I thought that you would keep him in check, but i must take some of the blame taking his pills with me by mistake. Dr. Buttshoveler said if this ever happens again, don't fail to contact him and he will duplicate his perscription.
For those of you who didn't know..Big JR is suffering from delusions of Grandeur, trying to post a thousand threads in one weekend was all too much for him. The nurse has issued new pills!
<img src="/images/graemlins/police.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/chloenurse.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/chloenurse.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/chloenurse.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/police.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/Rofl.gif" alt="" />

#2
offline mala_D

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<img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
It was blooming unreal...I was following him all over the place...and he kept leaving little deposits for me to clean up!
I tried to draw others in to help but they ignored my shouts for help on the ...er....Shoutbox!!
I went to bed in the end...and when I woke up in the morning I saw he'd done a further 40 odd posts!!
He's on some other pills I reckon...and they smell of apples!!!!

#3
offline Stu B

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Cider?!

#4
offline mala_D

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Well that would be letting on wouldn't it!!

Sure he's not a Gravesend fan...that's all I'll ask!!! know what I mean!!!

#5
offline Uncle Urchin

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BJR does run amok at certain times of the month....usually at the time of the full moon....

this of course led to a national outcry in the surrey home counties a while back when several old ladies were frightened out of their wits whilst on their way home from the derby and joan club in dorking.....a shadow of suspicion fell upon Big John.... and scotland yard and interpol were summoned but......

nothing could be proven.....

since then he has confined himself to late night forays on the internet...casting his net wide across the globe he once posted on 146 international forums in 16 different languages...

he specialises in terrifying old ladies on internet sites such as...

'blue rinses available for friendship'......

'middle aged spinster seeks partner'....and

'my poodles are in need of comfort'....

these sporadic attacks usually cease on the 2nd or 3rd day of the moons descendency.....all law inforcement agencies are baffled and the national press appear unable to shed any light on these mysterious and shocking acts of wanton posting....

in a seperate ...apparently unrelated incident.... it was revealed that sales of cider and sherry had mysteriously tripled at certain times of the month in and around the dorking area...

<img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

#6
offline American FLEET FAN No1

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Thanks for clearing that up Unc.......and i just thought he had gone on a drink/drug induced spree of madness.....the moon never crossed my mind.......lol.

#7
offline Big J R

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  • Location: Dorking, Surrey - God's Little Acre ?
  • Supports: Chelsea !!
  • Foes: NO-ONE !
  • Fav. Player(s): Any that don't dive and whinge !!
  • Fav. Sport(s): Naked Tiddly-Winks for over 70's.
Well, George Best lives, [color:"red"] (Lives ?? [color:"blue"] - That could be a contradiction in terms !) [color:"black"] only 8 miles from me, so I have a local role-model !

Rumour has it, he doesn't report in at Reigate Magistrates Court - He just signs the visitors book !

[color:"red"] (Oy !!! Don't you D-A-R-E drive that 4 x 4 through my apple orchard !!)

[color:"black"]
<img src="/images/graemlins/deadflies.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/drivin.gif" alt="" />

#8
offline Vogue

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I don't normally disclose personal emails, but I received this from BJR last night:

"Must go. I must start cooking."

#9
offline American FLEET FAN No1

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I think he meant.....i must start on the cooking sherry!!!!! <img src="/images/graemlins/roflmao.gif" alt="" />

#10
offline mala_D

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+

=



#11
offline American FLEET FAN No1

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Look out.......he's on his way in.......lol;

#12
offline mala_D

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He IS George Best!!!!!!!


#13
offline YELLOW

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  • Location: Canvey Island
  • Supports: Canvey Island, West Ham
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  • Fav. Player(s): Mo Diame, Paolo Di Canio, Carlton Cole, Kevin Nolan, Jay Curran, Kevin Dobinson, Lionel Messi
  • Fav. Sport(s): Football, drinking.
Looks like a hairy version of Liam Gallagher!!

#14
offline Big J R

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  • Location: Dorking, Surrey - God's Little Acre ?
  • Supports: Chelsea !!
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  • Fav. Player(s): Any that don't dive and whinge !!
  • Fav. Sport(s): Naked Tiddly-Winks for over 70's.
I am touched by your sentiments !

[color:"blue"] (My GP says he knew I was 'touched' years ago !)

[color:"red"] N-U-R-S-E ? Open a bottle and pass the pills !! [color:"black"]

<img src="/images/graemlins/chloenurse.gif" alt="" />

#15
offline EMH O30crew

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What do you mean a hairy version?...surely that is old Mono brow himself??.. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />




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