hornchurch expectations

[YELLOW]

Quality!!!

[urchinman1961]

i would probably get that wrong as my wife try's to help me and say get off u old slapper

[Hornchurch "O"]

I wouldn't risk it Dave. Unless you want rid.

I can help there. TRY.

 

"Darling, what would you do if i won the lottery?"

Her answer would probably be "Take my half and leave you".

You tell her good, i had 3 numbers up, here's a fiver now go.

[urchinman1961]

now that did tickle me mick

[Hornchurch "O"]

I'm turning into Ken Dodd.

[urchinman1961]

that should be a laugh then mick as he's a scouser

[blackballed]

And he was great with the taxman.

 

Why do men die before women........

 

Cos they want to.........

[urchinman1961]

in my case dave football is a matter of life n death and i know wot route i'm takin

[Hornchurch "O"]

Went to a match once.

All 1st half had a pillar in front of me.

Spotted a guy with an empty seat next to him.

At half time i went and asked if it was anyone's seat.

He said it was the wife'd but she couldn't come today.

I aked why he couldn't get anyone else to come?

He replied "They're all ay her funeral"

[PoshHitchinBlade101]

Ah yeah.

 

But yeah but, yeah but, here's a proper 'poem'

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv9rILExaXo

 

Yup, it's 'Sussex by the sea' (rather than Jaywick Sands by Canvey Island oil refinery)........ but each to their own I suppose.

 

Where would an urchinette rather spend a weekend?

 

C'mon girls. I know Brighton and Sussex rather well.

 

I'm open to offers you know.

 

:-)

[Miss.A.F.C.Hornchurch]

Originally Posted By: PoshHitchinBlade101

Where would an urchinette rather spend a weekend?

down at Bridge Avenue, watching the Urchins!

[PoshHitchinBlade101]

Ah, but come the summer.....commeth the man......and commeth the urchinette?

 

;-)

[urchinman1961]

seems like the urchin fillies have made there mind up and prefer the local action,aint that rite girls

[Miss.A.F.C.Hornchurch]

too right Dave

 

Hornchurch Girlz, we are here!

Support the Urchins and drink lots of beer!

la la la la lalala la

Hornchurch Girlz are big and strong!

[urchinman1961]

which has given me the idea of a wet t-shirt nite

[Miss.A.F.C.Hornchurch]

 

[Darter]

Personally, I think we can widen the net to include Essex man in general, although that wouldn't keep me away from the Bridge on a Saturday

[PoshHitchinBlade101]

Urchinettes: Oh stop playing hard to get.

 

Two pints of lager and a packet of condoms please?

 

Anyway, I intend renting a property in Sussex (probably on the coast) for a few months next year.

 

If nothing else, the kitchen floor is available to 'accommodate' you.

 

My 'wallet' is open to inspection by all available urchinettes.

 

In the meantime, why not just 'Hitchin' A Ride' :-)

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pdbUO12todk

 

I'm not sure which urchinette is in the opening sequence - but she'll do for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Kel]

Aussie chat up line:

 

Bruce - "Fancy a sh@g?"

 

Sheila - "No!"

 

Bruce - "Well, do ya mind lyin' down while I 'ave one?!"

[Nutchutney]

That one's as old as most of Max's best gags