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Prediction League anyone?

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Happy New Year everyone.

Thought I'd pop in and see what's going on during the Cricket season.  As you know, football starts in September but if we do a prediction league this year it might need to kick off on 31 August - depending on numbers.  But as you all - even Blackballed - have smartphones these days I reckon you'll be able to manage to predict from your sunbed in Torremolinos.

We had 16 last year in 2 divisions but are always looking for new blood to take the micky out of - and let's face it we have the new ex-Thurrock set who will be looking to prove their (alleged) footballing knowledge.   New joiners start in division 2 but as we have 2 seasons per season (if you see what I mean) - you can go up at Christmas and win Div 1 in April.   It's a head-to-head league so you get to inject a bit of rivalry with fellow supporters - and nobody from the Riverside has ever won to my knowledge - so come on folks from the West.  Predict on 5 games a week and then throw your destiny into the utter complexity of the scoring calculations.

It helps to raise a bit of cash for the Supporters' Association - £120 last year I think - and you get a beautiful trophy both for winner and wooden-spoonist.  Entry fee is £10 (or £5 if you are a bit cash-strapped) which covers both the Autumn and Spring leagues.  Free entry to last season's 2 winners.  (Technically they win 50% of takings but there is a tradition of passing this back into the pot).  I said passing.

That's all you need to know.  I'll check interest at Merstham but feel free to PM me or reply to this if you wish to join/ rejoin/ quit this tedious mess.

Thanks all


As a reminder of your ineptitude, last year we had : 


(Lady Jago won the playoffs, grrrrrr);
Wivenhoe won the Autumn League and still has the trophy! 
Depending on numbers, reprieves go to Div 1 teams not extra promotees if more teams join - but play off winner is NOT guaranteed to go up if we have to reduce numbers.  (This has never happened)

Edited by Jago

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Good work men (talking of which - we need more of the fairer sex if anyone knows any).

Also signing up at Merstham were:

  • Fat Tom  (though he'd had a few beers so it was hard to work out exactly what he was saying)
  • Wivenhoe
  • Ozz  (sorry folks - I've yet to find a legitimate reason to ban him)
  • Baby Jago
  • Jago
  • Urchin Queen
  • Luke (Well he banged on for the 40th time about how unlucky he'd been which is as good as signing up in my book)
  • And Cup of Tea was so keen he even paid.

So that's 10 - let's see if we can get another 10.  Come back Maccas1 - all is forgiven.


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Good work everyone - and a big welcome to Serge Keeper Coach who should be a contender given he may actually know something about football.

Everyone from last year has signed up again except Lord Upminster who may simply be playing his normal waiting game.  This currently gives us 17 players due to Baby Jago reappearing after a year off sulking after his relegation.

So before I do the fixtures - LORD UP (Or OZZ - you may know) - will you be rejoining?   There is the added incentive that you would be reprieved from relegation (AGAIN!) as we'd run with 10 in Div 1 and 8 in Div 2. 

But - I am still hoping for an extra couple more so we can hit the magic 20 number - Anyone else interested? 

I will put the prediction fixtures up at the weekend (24/25 Aug ready for the kick off on 31 Aug) but can hold off on the head to head parings for a few days in case there are late joiners (max 20). 

Thanks all.


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I have been in touch with his Lordship and yes he is in again this year.  

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Great stuff Ozz/ Your Lordship.

Looks like 10 in Div 1 and 8 in Div 2 - which means reprieves for Lord Upminster and, it pains me to say, perpetual complainer The Hatted One.  Provisional fixtures as below to whet your appetites (welcome to the BIG TIME Blackballed - away to the Mighty Ozz!).  BUT - still time for 2 more - so I will delay final publication and fixtures thread until Sunday.   I won't be at the K's game so if anyone wants to nag in a newbie feel free!

SERGE - I have given you a team name but feel free to change it - it's not very good!   Likewise Cup of Tea - maybe Carrol's Scarpered?  And anyone else who wants a change.

Nb - If It's 8 in Div 2 we'd go for 3 up 3 down as normal, but I'm thinking 4 up 4 down if we do get to 10.   Any objections - let  me know.



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After watching last year I had thought of joining this year.
But after 3 games I realise I'm really quite useless, my Sky Bet account also confirms this.
I expected to destroy Mertsham but it was a bit of a slog to get a result helped by a goalie howler.
I thought we would beat Margate in a close game but we had to fight hard to get the draw.
I anticipated Worthing to win by the odd goal - although I did guess the crowd correctly at 701.
So, to try and predict games with teams I know nothing about seems a bit futile, although I would give Jago a new target to mercilessly rip to pieces with his shining wit ( the last two words are a deliberate spoonerism).

But, let's have a quick go.
Kingstonian are, I believe, mainly last year's Mertsham play-off team so another tough test.
Hornchurch are significantly strengthened from last year.

So I'll go with a 1-1 draw.

Average published home crowds are around 250 but Kingstonian have a lot of silly people although that has to be measured against school holidays so I'll go with 241.


So, come 5pm it will be Hornchurch 4 Kingstonian 3 with a crowd of 432.

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Aha - thanks MikeMike - welcome aboard. I'll be along with some whining poo shortly.

One point : you appear to have confused the 2 prediction threads : THIS ONE is the Official Prediction League, starts next week and you will be predicting on 5 "carefully selected" matches each week.  It slogs on relentlessly until Christmas, and then we do it all over again in the Spring if you can bear it.  We don't care about the Kingstonian match - except in the parallel real world where we wanna see the Ks smashed.  Obvs.

THE OTHER ONE  (as below) is for those with shorter attention spans and concentrates on the next match only - and is free to enter :)    Your post above seems to straddle them both - so you may just be testing me or killing two birds with one post.  Or not.  I shall assume you're joining The Prediction League and include you in the fixtures though - can you supply a team name please?  Nb Cup of Tea is a regular contributor to both threads and sometimes even posts the same predictions on each when he is sober enough.

In other news - Mr Hat - Noted and will be actioned.  You Klown.

All the best




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